2.25.2011

1st Guest Blogger Tim Elliott

Tim Elliot is a dedicated supporter of our troops and advocate of veterans' benefits. He's just starting blogging but look for more of his writings to come.


Asbestos
Have you ever heard of asbestos? It’s deadly. It causes the cancer mesothelioma, and thousands of veterans have it due to exposure while serving.  Before it was known that asbestos was dangerous the military built everything from roof shingles to cloth with it, and millions of soldiers have been exposed to it.  Mesothelioma takes a long time (twenty to fifty years) before it starts to really negatively affect the body, and it is just now that many veterans are beginning to find out that they have it.
Can you imagine the hopelessness, the bitterness, and the biting cruelty that would have to accompany such a diagnosis? To learn that the mesothelioma life expectancy is only a year or two, that you’re not expected to live longer than a year or two? It would be devastating in any circumstance.  To hear that, and then to hear that it’s likely because of the time you spent in the military. The fact that you made it through all the trials and tribulations, and survived only to find out years later that cancer from then is going to take your life anyway is just unbelievable.  Or the helplessness, because the whole time you thought that trouble breathing was nothing serious only to find out it is a mesothelioma symptom ? It’s absolutely unbelievable that some people have to go through this, after they’ve already been through so much. 
If you find out early enough that you have mesothelioma there are options for surgeries that will treat the cancer, but the prognosis is poor. So the best thing to do if you think you’ve been exposed to asbestos is to talk to your doctor and get screened regularly for it.
 

2.17.2011

man is monster and innocence is lost in accumulation
woman is a beast and purity is compromised in acquisition
children are sirens, loud and crashing into each other, further from control
mothers are just as lost as the rest of us,
makes me feel wisdom is not age or experience,
but rather something we start with
a certain perception
a stranger on a train recognizing something in you
that you hadn't known in years
wondering if that is a good thing
who am i now that this person saw, maybe a shadow of who i was another time
i want to hide them and talk about them
as my face turns red

get off the train and go to the bar

a girl smiles and laughs gives advice takes a little interest
i shelter heartache with smiles

a blur, a tired tired blur

another reaches out and i retract
in fear in lonely shallow hollow fear
disinterest

2.11.2011

bitter mouth fool

i got a chip on my shoulder. can you blame me. i have a sudden fear of growing older. I need something to fill this loss of motivation inside of me. I need sun. I feel like a shipmate on a voyage through winter, getting cabin fever. I'm a natural imaginationist. i pull myself out of the gutter with the leaves and challenge the passers on the street. Pride vs enemies inside, quality of life, live and let die, hello goodbye dramatic change in dialogue eh? i get you got you got you good good going from bad to worse so worst worth work and warm dirt silk shirt shure sure big sur to surf and turf walking on water galloping golliwags giggling and guzzling gobs of golden grapes in juice getting to go through the moves until one day the situation improves but not too loose cuz then u lose lost sense scents scants of selected silly sayings rants alley cats scratching backs wearing slacks smoking cracks in shacks with shaq and whitney u shittin me me me me yes where is this going going going going gone     and gone isn't wrong it just isn't here................or there................ I'm not sold on destruction and cycle. I'm not bought on destruction and cycle. I'm not old on destrctionandcycle. and the chain broke. songs of mad men on mad floors in mad places with bad doors i'm glad i'm not sleeping in my own urine tonight ladies and gentlemen. I'm glad if i listen just right the plastic bag pattering in the breeze sounds like ocean waves on a neon velvet painted night.
jibbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiissssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhh
sleepless fool burning lamp oil of life