and Jesus drowned the puppies to save them from life

Oh I thought that was you
but I couldn't see past the rain drizzled shield
wind pushed out in ripples stretching
straining out lines making thin rivers that caught the light just right// you were just a lamp post ghost pacing the streets with bleeding warped face//
and I thought that was me
chasing fear around but it's never
as clear as hearing the sound/ see;
the slam of the ground which whistles precede
I'm lucky I'm writing and not just dictating still have limbs and jars of pennies, I can spread things, grip the world with hands and stand up against ground turning 
still have a voice box to sing building apathy empathy, becoming...
I can design something from nothing, I can change matter by breathing and eating, I can cause vicious waves of alteration from my actions with no tricks up my sleeves, and then I can't do anything, i can't change the fact that we're losing time to think, and in between lost sleep the longer the blinks/ see; caffine drinks, cigarettes I'm slow to think, sad to write
mental y-axis negative, perpetually fueling the analytics that founded this system of crude self-distance, association, complications of the mind, hurry doctor get the paddles, it's all just wasting time, wasting hope, wasting reason to get out if you can, but you won't get out alive/ see; funerary march, dust, second line, second life, trust, will, definite