my mind is all my worth and i follow where it goes
the strangest places come and go just like my hopes
i'm the same fading being that you knew before
i felt a rope slip loose, it was holding us but torn

you may have happier friends that make you feel alright
and always find a way to hold someone at night
but i want those deeper meanings to shed light on life
just a lost brain in a people factory
satisfied for the longest time on little memories


December has descended into the center of my existence.  I once felt like I might understand people and things.  I once worried no one would understand me, now I feel like I'm stuck on repeat.  I bore the crowd with all too familiar things.  jsl;ajdflskdjfowiejfsdknkgdsjhdfaskdlfjsdl;kfjas;difjk

i can't write because i haven't lived

jesus i am\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\a loser
go back to your iphone or previously recorded program
go back to your distractions

no i definitely don't understand people
well i understand some too well sometimes
and others not enough

life is a bore try to make it interesting

if nothing is handed to you
and you can try too hard for something
do we have to wait on chance

what if you just lose interest
nothing anyone can say will help it

too much emotion killed the cat

too many five hour energy and red bull
perception of time screwed up for everyone

too much grime on the street and we are all getting dirty
too many advertisements in magazines

all the dress patterns in the world won't save you from yourself
even horses wear shoes

a deep conversation comes along once and a while
listen to the other person
give real smiles

sit up and tell someone all the associations to them in your mind
make those neural connections stronger
you have to nurture love

sleep is the friend and enemy
makes one third of our lives so dull

forget/////////////everything i said
even though it wasn't much


i know my words fall to deaf ears
like candlelight or background noise
we're poised to lose attention
i know my heart is strong enough to take you on
don't slide away in a moment we'll be gone
i've shown my cards only hoping no one keeps a score
and this slice of life is'nt so frosted anymore
these cold streets make me remember love
i gained trust and broke up so many times before
all my hopes were angry knots of energy
to get back at the feeling that no one can want me
i see connection their walking hip to hip
latched arms with an understanding kiss
we should know that life should be this way
and through the glass i look back into my face
i can't help resenting you today

all my feelings never really
grow on anything that i care for
i've already lost the way that you smell

i've got so many regrets that i should forget while
i'm so sad and busted this seems like the first real thing that i
can't fix with my hands or words and its so sickening
it's so unbearable to believe that she can just go on like anything
it doesn't matter whose soul she steals when she doesn't even know
how to use it
it gets better when you are going to die the deeper the grave the faster you live your life


she must leave hearts of boys at doorsteps across the world
she must smile inside with tongue curled
while saturated suns rise in sore red eyes
plain flights seen sights all gone goodbye tomorrow
life will slow and melt away
as all those we cherish do, as we do ourselves
and the boys stop answering late calls
people distaste the fleeting nature of your withering claws
the future her will regret
like the me of now
and in time and space somehow we will feel the same
breathe heavy and sadly in the same ways
some gorilla will charm and love will get stale
as things do
as i do

we are all carrier pigeons with no message
feel important anyway
feel like another might realize so we scare each other away
lets drink to companionship and taking away in the season of giving and thanks

what is wrong with me

i can't argue I'm too nice, i debate and state points
not too quick to give advice, nice teeth warm eyes
i sing songs and play alright, I draw paint and try to write a good line
i'm damaged by experience but I don't dwell, i gather insight
i don't speak ill, or fill with ill will
i don't get drunk and blather or beat
i don't cheat
my mind is strange and unique
i kiss like softness and your name stays warm when i speak
my heart sips u like warm tea
and tastes only sweetness honey
in your eyes on the phone
it's not you anymore
was she there to begin with
was she anything at all

and that's all i get
relief is breaking
this time
no fixing broken line
no changing spiteful eyes
hello night
we are alone together again