Birth of Genius

It should be a god damned national holiday. The bureaucrats surely wouldn't understand. 91 years ago today Hank Bukowski was spit into this world, and I am thankful for it. I am drinking cheap beer and day dreaming about my own life as an avant garde crude manipulator of line, verse, idea, philosophy. One thing Bukowski said that will always produce veins in my consciousness was,  " I'm the hero of my own shit" Exactly what I should strive for, because in my mind I am the hero, never the villain. I made mistakes but most heroes do. If I had more money in the wallet or in the bank than negative I would but bottles of cheap red wine and brandy to give to the homeless and down people of my city. I have no place in the world, but that is ok because Hank didn't either. Cheers.

listening to the see

Liquid in the ear
smoke in the lung
dirt in the eye
the cold steel barrel
the unlit hills

dreams, dreaming, falling, swimming in them
hope to control them, to escape
old emotions swim to the surface
memories and names are now in the front of the back of the mind
unconscious subconscious deliberation
don't can't won't
one letter, one message, one call
could change a life forever
one scowling question can destroy
and in moments of pure loneliness
when the world has turned it's back completely
these are the things that awaken
and this is why they want to die
this is why it's so hard
to trudge through
when every choice seems like a mistake
and in the wake of action
the passion
the loss
the heart contorts, confronts the mind
blind from lust and passion, distraction
drink, smoke, be merry
choke, cough, failing
realization of decision
understanding mistakes
sometimes this takes years
sometimes it never happens in a life
it must be so easy being ignorant
never eating from the forbidden tree
never waking up from the American dream

Full stomach, dry eyes
Can't see no future
can't understand why
we all got problems
and it's all wrong
got to get it while ya got it
because you don't have long
I'm a hard skinned lover
I'm an easy mellow man
I'm sick of this impossible prison
it's more than I can stand
but you know I need you baby
oh, you know I did you wrong
but please, please, please
don't leave me so all ----- alone

The music stops
it all sounds good when you don't know what it means
it hurts more when you do