I'm a drop
I'm a sliver
a cold object in the blackness
I'm a bafoon
a complete negligent
i bury my sword in the ground
not to fight anymore
i sing to goed
or anything in the empty that will listen
i cry
i hang my head in resentment
the filament of the light that burns us
that dirty lighter, match, or oven top
range, grove, trees
i want to touch
i want to hold
i'm only held by memory
i'm only held by the thought
that somewhere in the world I may
have one person just like me
so much like me
they are perfect, amazing, loving
they let their souls come out, they fall
I'm falling but not in a good way
I'm staring into the dark, LED lit phase
I'm alone, in loneliness, in myself, in blissfulness, I'm the destroyer
I burn hearts and carry off feeling
I waste myself for nothing and more nothing, I don't get what I need
but I try sometimes to get what I want
I like the dirt, the earth, nothing
I like the whole, the holes, and something
to keep me, my mind, my sea, my belief
I like when you call me Matteo, matty, and Mr. Ping
I'm a hollow, ahole, gulley, buccaneer, full of shit
full of himself, connasuirre of the unclear
unloud, unallowed, forever in here
locked up caged up paged up
followed swollen fluttering in nothing,
and you're here for?
what, what am I, what are they
frayed existence
I am the solid the button the metal
I may be rusty but I am strong
and I hold on

goodbye love


  1. You know when I think to myself that I need to read your blog or comment, I refer to you as "Matty"
    "It should do good to the heart and head
    When your soul is in my soul's stead;
    And I will friend you, if I may,
    In the dark and cloudy day"...A.E. Housman

  2. Ha, that's great your not the first one to refer to me as that. I think of wendie, and gravestones, cement angels, and Charles Bukowski.

    "Rejoice, and men will seek you;
    Grieve, and they turn and go.
    They want full measure of all your pleasure,
    But they do not need your woe.
    Be glad, and your friends are many;
    Be sad, and you lose them all.
    There are none to decline your nectared wine,
    But alone you must drink life's gall."
    Etta Wheeler Wilcox
    Your one of the few that drink down the vinegar wine of life with me.

  3. Aww thank you Matty. You made me smile when I read your post and it cheered me this weekend when I was confronted with a little too much nostalgia.
    We can always share the bitter wine of life, it's better than drinking alone....
    Email me your address, there's a pretty cool pic I took I want to send you a copy of :)