Dead Lines

I'll start this post with a little quote from Ayn Rand's epic Atlas Shrugged.

"Your wallet is your statement of hope that somewhere in the world around you there are men who will not default on that moral principle which is the root of money. Is this what you consider evil? "Have you ever looked for the root of production? Take a look at an electric generator and dare tell yourself that it was created by the muscular effort of unthinking brutes. Try to grow a seed of wheat without the knowledge left to you by men who had to discover it for the first time. Try to obtain your food by means of nothing but physical motions and you'll learn that man's mind is the root of all the goods produced and of all the wealth that has ever existed on earth. But you say that money is made by the strong at the expense of the weak? What strength do you mean? It is not the strength of guns or muscles. Wealth is the product of man's capacity to think."
This is so true and I believe it very much. I am still very poor. Maybe the world has become so corrupt and out of control that the great thinkers among us don't stand a chance to the great networking, dishonest, and inhumane robots that control business. Everything in this country has been outsourced to other countries there is no way to compete with slave wages here in the states. Just a thought.
Well other than that the Vet Art Project is coming up very soon, Monday night in Preston Bradley Hall at the Chicago Cultural Center. Starts at 7pm and you can reserve your free seat through the website.
So I've been watching this great Japanese tv show from the 90's called Denpa Shonen. Thank god for the Japanese. I Never thought I would like a reality show again until I saw this. I'm suddenly underlined. Not sure why but I'll roll with it. So it's about this guy who thinks he wins a contest but ends up getting thrown in a room naked with nothing but postcards and magazines. He has to win everything he lives on until he gets to 1 million yen. It's great. It takes him about thirteen months but he does it. The way he goes through it makes me think of how simple life is then and little things like rice really keep you going. I hate the complexities of reality sometimes. I would say I miss companionship but I didn't have much before, and I don't have much now. I wish I had a dog.
Tuition was due today. I couldn't pay it. I can't even buy a sandwich or a stick of gum, let alone pay tuition. I don't know what will happen, I hope I don't get kicked out of school. What a waste of time, energy, and motivation to get here in the first place. I miss home. I probably should have went to a state school, but this place is so prestigious I thought it would be my only chance to become a respectable artist. Maybe it doesn't even matter though. Lots of artists didn't even go to school and have made it. I look at a lot of the art here and I think it sucks. I want to improve everything and be the best at everything I can. I don't want be like some of the kids here coasting through and getting fucked up all the time, I'm serious about this place and it's hard when it's a joke to these rich fucks who don't know or care what the real world is like. I hope things get better. Karma should be turning in my direction soon hopefully because right now it seems like everything is getting worse every day. In the words of John Lennon " And we all shine on".


  1. :( I'm sorry to here things haven't turned around monetarily for you yet. I've been through the ringer a few times myself and had to sell all my possessions and rely on the generosity of others just to survive. I wish I could help... I could always do some grocery shopping for you since I work in a store now. A working class hero is something to be...
    Things will turn around for you eventually, buddy. In the meantime, if you need anything- call


  2. jesus christ I misspelled "hear" I'm a total freak show. Anyway, I'm sorry to HEAR.. blah blah.