was what you said just not enough
was it all red in the middle of love
do you need some time or someone new
ready for nothing, nothing new
god is impossible
impossible to please
please please me
wait wait don't tell me you've been waiting
in straight lace pleasantly
peacefully shine deep
dissect the shit out of me
till that black lung can no longer breathe
you can't kill the heart, my heart
even though it's on my sleeve
even through bitter warning
thoughts, and eyes wander over me
steadily growing patient without apathy
slow liquor pour downed four
steady as I roll and lose control over
you your mind me
self prescribing
loss of dignity
escape of my esteem
the blackness of my dreams
the doctor I haven't seen
the pain in my kidneys
the tired glaze of eyes dazed
fastened to laptop screen
spreading words like sacred code
into flowing streams

all of your love
life is forever
words you said and didn't write or vice versa
words written so well but lacking vocal devotion
thoughts trickling down and too shy to spout them
to weak to fight your hand
to hold it on to mine
fear, fear is a cold black creature
that spouts from the face of death itself
as it strengthens my god the change
in brain waves
in processing and computing
in putting it together and getting your shit together
why bother getting old when you can get crazy god dammit
why bother filling the holes that were left from being cradled. Expectation. Relentless. It figures. The math doesn't work because I don't fucking work. The cards are all shit and for me they always have been, fuck, fuck, fuck. the house and the shadows, the slips and slides, I am built from scraps of life that we have in this parade of shit. al;;;;;;;;jks f;ajsdfiwepoirquweopiaefujdsl;jkfhgawsjkgdflzj fhdskjah;akhgakldsjffhsldksjsoiieuuthfdjsal;a;apqlwnvxmvn,zsoojwoayfnglsjdssmcjsnflajgeja;ljsjflsjfjfsfljsfljs
jfslfsliejejejeieieijejejeejjejejejejejejejeejejjjejejejejsjsjsjjejjsjejiwiwiejwijewijeijwieijejjejeelkjwrw;ljqq;lkwjerlwqkejrsadifiuq[ruworwowfsoujafskj

the feeling is still there
the madness is still there
i am still there
the smell is still there
the brief moment is still there
shit luck shit for brains dumb shitty shit

i will



win