Notes From A Blood Stained Coloring Book

I can't go outside anymore. Mother and Grandma won't let me. I miss the sun so sometimes I sit in the window looking out in the streets. I hope to see other children playing so I can say "look mom the other kids are out playing", but I never see them. I only see the adults. They all wear masks now. Some even wear gloves. I heard Dad telling Mom about the people on the trains. He says that they cover all their bodies and wear rubber doctors gloves. No one touches anymore they only wave but most people don't recognize each other, or themselves anymore.
School was over early. Some kids got sick and they said it had to be clean. They said the flu is a germ and it spreads all over. Mom says I'm lucky because a lot of the kids got it. I think I would rather be in the doctors eating soup and watching what I want. They only like the news. I don't like listening to the people talk or the pictures they show. There are lots of bad people now. They do what they want and it's on tv every night. Mom says it's because they think they are going to die so they do what ever they can do to be mean or unkind. That's why we have more locks now.
Mom started a garden in the back yard. She says when everyone is eating canned food we will live like kings with our carrots and watermelons. I say I want McDonald's happy meal, she and grandma laugh. They say no one is eating at restaurants anymore. The people outside seem in a hurry. They are going out less. When night comes it feels like everyone is scared and I can feel it. So I lay in bed looking at the ceiling imagining what is out there in the dark that scares them so bad. Dad doesn't seem so bad though. He is usually the only one who goes out. When he gets home he takes off his mask and gloves and burns them. Then momma and grandma wash his clothes in Bleach. Sometimes he brings me home presents because he knows I get bored with mom and grandma all day. Then he sits by the television and tells mom and grandma about the people on the trains and the people who are sick and lying around. I heard him tell them about the train cars with the sick people piled up. He said they were going far. They were going to be buried, but a special funeral where they are burned. " Ashes to ashes, dust unto dust" is what grandma said.
I miss my family. I miss my cousin Sadie. She's in heaven now. I remember when aunt Lisa called and told mom. Her and grandma cried and talked. Sadie was my favorite cousin. Uncle Louis died too, but dad said it was from a crazy man attacking him at his store. The man was sick and took things from Louis little grocery store. Aunt Kathy, my cousin Maury, and grandma's brother Albert all got sick from the flu. Everyone was sad and afraid. I'm not afraid because when I die I will be with god. It doesn't matter to me how it happens I don't even think about it. It's just something you can't help like losing a baby tooth.
I think when it's all over and everything is right again I want to be a doctor so I can help. So that people don't have to be scared anymore. So the other children can go outside and play, and I can have fun.